The Story

Thinking now, thinking now...fiction is so strange. For me, the tighter I grasp it, the more it eludes me. The harder I try to find the core of some character, to line up all the events and themes in a story, the more I find the characters splintering, fragmenting, opening themselves to endless combinations and possibilities.

I wrote a story about a man who is interested in UFOs. I am on my 10th version now, and only now am I pretty certain what I want him to do. The first drafts were all a bit pushy. There was no sense of ease or celebration. It hurt me, this story. I even tried (desperately, anxiously) a post-modern approach which involved the author himself making an appearance as the victim of the main character. It was all right, but of course the story hadn't been set up to support this twist, and I felt no inclination to do the work required to make it all line up.

So now I'm back to another idea. This is how it goes.