Random New Year Thoughts

Hate Ed Harris. Why does he appear in so many movies? Can we please get someone else to do the steely-eyed, head-slightly-cocked thing? So tired of Ed Harris.

Last night my wife and I both had gas. Her flatuses smelled like the beach and mine smelled like burned meat. Together we had a sort of Luau going.

This morning we walked on the beach. We always see a man and woman in their 50's walking in the same direction; the man is usually wearing only shorts, his barreled, white-haired chest thrust manfully upward toward his shoulders, his short arms dangling over his hips. He looks vaguely apelike. His woman is the complete opposite. Where he is practically naked, she's completely clothed. She wears a long-sleeved shirt, long pants, sunglasses, and a floppy woven hat tied under her chin which completely obscures her face. Connecting these two wildly disparate persons is an old swaybacked German Shepherd with tufted fur. The dog always walks directly between the couple, never to one side or the other. We like to think of the dog as an equation. That is, that the dog represents an obscure formula which somehow unites the ape-man and the English gardener woman.

Also this morning, on the beach, my wife said that she likes to whisper things to into my baby son's ears, little sweet nothings which she imagines will become lodged in the nodes and whorls of his brain, and these whispers will wait there, packed tightly in their little nooks, until one day some emotional or physical cataclysm will shake them loose and then, in a time of crisis, he'll hear all those loving whispers as they trickle back out.