Scrote Bite

Ye who have young toddlers, beware! This could happen to you.

I was standing in the kitchen eating my dessert from a cup, holding the cup fairly high and looking across the room at my wife. This is the setup. It's important to know how my body was positioned in light of the coming event.

As I was rather engrossed in my conversation, I was not really aware that my toddler son was hanging on my legs and whining (he'd pretty much been hanging on my legs and whining all day). Next thing I know, a stab of intense pain radiated up from my scrotum and, looking down, I saw my son's little teeth clenched down on a tab of my shorts, which just happened to contain a piece of scrotum as well. Needless to say, my reaction was animated. I roared in pain, jumped back about three feet, and, pointing my finger, said "No!" to my little son.

Shocked by all this noise and motion, my son began to cry, and so, in a roundabout way, his mission was accomplished. He was once again being held and comforted by his father. Meanwhile, with my free hand, I massaged the bag. My goodness, what a shock.

Is there anything, anything in the world, that soaks up more of your time than a small child? Anything? It's really insane. Some weekends I really think I'm going to go totally insane. If I read ONE sentence of a book over a weekend it's a miracle.