Selfish Writing Bastard

Interesting post below Steve. I like your logic. It's got a certain inevitability about it and makes me feel better about some of my own choices, starting as it does with the premise that we're doomed to write, that it's as essential to our survival as moving our bowels or the occasional grip/sexual encounter.

Let me tell you about a little incident that happened last night in the Dovany household. So, as you know, Bill leaves early and misses the meeting because his infant son is throwing up all over the inside of the car, not feeling well, etc. When Bill gets home, he finds this to be true. He pitches in as well as he can, and somehow a discussion is joined about an upcoming business trip and from there it comes around to Bill's insistence that he get time to write.

Bill is not exactly rational when it comes to his writing time. In Bill's mind this is non-negotiable. Bill would rather get fired from a job than miss his writing time. He'd rather get a divorce than give up his writing. Honestly. He doesn't know if that's right or wrong (how did I end up in third person and is this psychologically significant?) but he knows it *is*.

The wife voices a resentment about Bill's writing time. She doesn't think it's very loving that Bill is so dogmatic about putting something in front of his family. Bill doesn't care. He explains to his wife that it *must* matter a great deal to him since he gets up at 3:30 in the fuckin' morning to do it, since that's the only time available to him, given his demanding job, his participation in household chores, and his full involvement in the raising of the young son.

Bill's wife is forced to admit that yes, right or wrong, Bill's commitment cannot be questioned. His sanity? Yes. His moral fitness? Yes. But not his commitment to writing. Overall this is an argument that, like all the rest, Bill will lose because as usual Bill lost the delicate thread of cause and effect and hidden meaning about halfway through. Still, Bill doesn't give a fuck. Bill's getting up at his usual time and do his writing.

And here's the thing: this isn't about what Bill does with his writing time. If he screws it up and doesn't write a word, well...that's Bill's fault and s separate issue entirely. But he wants that time every day to at least sit in front of the screen and NOT WRITE. Make any sense? I'm not sure it does. Bill hopes so!