Dell Latitude User Guide

That was the book I used to whack away at the roach. You were pretty much dead on there, Steve! Something techie and completely dispensable. Funny thing is I haven't actually thrown the book away. It's still sitting on my filing cabinet...I figure if I wait long enough, it will somehow become usable again.

I have this rule, it's kind of like a corollary to the five-second rule, which says that if I wait long enough even the grossest-ass mess (including bug guts) will, through the simple action of time passing, become hygienic again. For instance, who among us would take a look at roach remains on a ceramic shard at Pompeii and say, "oh, man, that's gross, look at this bug."

Not at all. We'd pick said shard right up and put it on our pockets and, looking furtively about, make for the door (or whatever). So the Dell manual sits on my filing cabinet, waiting to be returned to active duty. Well, that and I'm too lazy to throw it out. Come to think of it, most of my rules -- 5 Second Rule, the Wait Until It's Not Gross Rule -- are really all about my laziness. I'm too lazy to go on with this thought.

Speaking of killing roaches, our dog whined to go out early this morning (about an hour ago) and my wife, after opening the door, fell asleep on the sofa. The door was open for an hour, allowing free entry to any and all roaches who were brave enough to take a chance on a new and fabulous life. But like all migrations, like all journeys into new territories, there are risks, as these unfortunate roaches soon discovered. When I came downstairs, the hallway just beyond the open door was littered with roach carcasses and the dog was sitting there with her paws crossed, watching the doorway with a loving and expectant expression. When she saw me, the dog jumped up, lay back her ears, and wagged her tail as if to say, "How can I ever thank you for this wonderful night?"

Glad you've apparently reconciled (and then some!) with your wife. I'm writing but it all feels like crap. Just letting you know.