Two Sentences

I was thinking that I'd like to distill last night's action, with the prodigal drunken father returning to lay claim to familial love, etc. and here's what I came up with:

Last night I called the father a disgrace, a coward, and a bully while the north wind blew sand around my ankles and in the gray background surfers dropped into fickle waves.

Baby son pooped in the tub, two nuggets, one twice the size of the other, rolling in the backwash of the draining sudsy water.